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Adrian Mole meets Twilight in the hysterical diaries of inept immortal Nigel Mullet, who became a vampire at the awkward age of fifteen. Like Edward Cullen in Twilight, Nigel was transformed into a vampire as a teenager, and will remain this age forever. Unfortunately, in his case, that means spending eternity coping with acne, a breaking voice, and total ineptitude with girls! Will he ever get a girlfriend after eighty years of being single? And what should he do with all of boring eternity stretching out before him? Being a wimpy kid is bad enough when you’re normal. But it’s even worse when you’re a vampire!